(This post contains affiliate links to books we have read and recommend.)

Women growing in their faith and love for Jesus. 
Women sharing life together and making connections. 
Women encouraging, challenging, and supporting one another. 

How can this be fostered in your church?  There are number of ways this atmosphere can be nurtured.  Bible studies, retreats, fellowship activities…  But today, I’d like to share with you one way you might not yet have considered:  mentoring. 

I love women’s ministry!  My heart just burns to see women grow in their faith and build community.  There is something so special about the ways that women can connect and encourage one another in their love for the Lord.   And as I have gotten older, I have realized how important it is to be teaching and training younger women to walk faithfully with God.  Yes, we can do this through a variety of outlets, but mentoring is a great way to connect the hearts of women in your church with one another.  

You see, when we look at the state of discipleship in churches today, I’m not so sure we have done a great job over the last century.  It seems to me that believers have been influenced more by the culture, than the culture has been influenced by us.  Have we trained the next generation to be fully devoted followers of Christ?  This is part of discipleship.  

Let’s read what Paul instructs Titus in Titus 2:3-5.  

We need to be intentionally training future generations, supporting them, and helping guide them as they follow the Lord and His Word.  If we aren’t doing this, we are missing something. Could mentoring be a tool in the belt of your church that would help accomplish this?  Let’s see!   

Mentoring is an intentional relationship between two people (in this case, two women) where an older woman comes alongside a younger woman in the church for the purpose of growing in faith, equipping for service, and glorifying God.  It is Titus 2:3-5 in action.

Susan Hunt of Spiritual Mothering defines it as, “When a woman possessing faith and spiritual maturity enters into a nurturing relationship with a younger woman in order to encourage and equip her to live for God’s glory.” 

The goals of a mentoring ministry are for women to grow in their faith, to connect with another believer in a deliberate discipleship relationship, to enjoy godly fellowship and the opportunity to learn from one another. 

There are many ways you could run a mentoring ministry.  What you will find below is how we have done it for the last few years at our church.  My hope is that what follows helps you prepare and plan for your own church and ministry.

1.  Send out a letter to the women at your church asking if anyone would like to be mentored.

This letter should explain:

• what mentoring is
• the commitment (how often to meet and that there is a book to work through, if you so choose)
• who can sign up and how to sign up

(If you would like to see the letter I sent, fill out the form at the bottom of the page.)

We asked for a 6-10 month commitment.  (If the pair read one chapter a month in the book we selected, it would take 10 months to complete.  If they doubled up, it would take less.)  All of our mentoring pairs took a year to work through the book together.  We asked for the pair to meet in person once a month as well as connect monthly by text, phone, or email.  We also provided the books (at no cost) that the ladies would read on their own and go through the discussion questions together.

The mentoring ministry was open to women in our church, ages 18 and up (members and non-members).  I had at one point thought about including teen girls, but it was a bit of a stretch with the book I wanted to use.  However, I think this would be a great addition to a church’s youth ministry.

As to how to sign up, I included my phone number in the letter and the date by which to sign up.  Of course, we had a few sign up afterwards, but try to build in time for that to happen.  You really want to have a good idea of who would like to be mentored in entirety before officially assigning mentors.  I also chose not to put a public sign up sheet at church, but rather just have ladies text me directly.  

2.  Once you have a list of women desiring to be mentored (the mentees), prayerfully compile your “wish list” of mentors for the ladies.

When we first started, we had 11 women interested in being mentored.  I had no pre-conceived ideas about how many people would sign up.  We are not a large church, so I was very pleased with the interest.  

Then came the process of thinking through who would be the mentors.  Bathed in prayer, I thought through different people in the church (women who were older than the mentee and who prioritized growing in their faith and love for Jesus).  On several occasions, I intentionally matched older women with certain life experiences with younger women in similar situations.  But it wasn’t a “must have” to create matches.  

I then sent a tentative list to my pastor and his wife to see what they thought, keeping in mind that I don’t know everything about everyone.  With their agreement, it was time to start asking my wish list of ladies to be mentors.

3. Prayerfully ask the women to be mentors and match them with a mentee.

When it came time to speak with the potential mentors, I did so over the phone personally.  I asked them to consider and pray about becoming a mentor to a younger woman.  I told them specifically who I had in mind for them.  And I explained the commitment and the hope of growing together, coming alongside this younger woman, encouraging and getting to know her.  I made sure to tell the potential mentor that there was no expectation of her having all the answers for life, but just offering support, love, and the opportunity to grow . . . . and not one woman told me no!  Ah, the women’s precious hearts for serving the Lord and helping others.  What a blessing!

4.  Kick-Off Event

This is the fun part . . . if you like events.  If you don’t, recruit a team to help you plan this fun night.  This is a night filled with excitement and anticipation for how the Lord will work through these special relationships.

Our kick-off evening event included several elements: 

• food (we did desserts and hot cider)
• group games (bonding and fun)
• an instructional/teaching time (on mentoring and Titus 2:3-5)
• worship
• business/housekeeping tasks (handing out books and explaining the process)
• an activity for the pairs
• a giveaway for floral centerpieces
• time for prayer

Because I like parties and making women feel special, I did some extra fun things – like favors, bookmarks, and pretty displays.  But don’t worry about this kind of stuff as long as the most important things are taken care of.  

 ** Again, if you would like to see more specifics, you can see my kick-off cheat sheet for free by subscribing at the bottom of the page.

5.  Checking In

After a few months, check in with both mentor and mentee.  I did this via text just to see if the pair had a chance to meet, how it was going, and if they had any questions or concerns.  I would suggest checking in with the pairs two to three times during the course of the year.  

6.  Evaluating the Year and Gauging Interest to Continue for Each Match

As your first year begins to come to an end, you will want to evaluate the year and gauge interest for another year.  Each person in the ministry received a questionnaire and was asked to return it to me.  ** This questionnaire is also available with the free mentoring resources found at the bottom of this page.

We asked the following questions:

• Would you like to continue with being mentored/mentoring for the coming year?
• If so, would you like another year with your mentor/mentee or are you open to a new assignment? We made sure to include this statement, “And no guarantees!  This is just to assess where everyone is.”
• If you stay with the same person, would you like to:  1) do another book, 2) just meet with no specific material to discuss, 3)something in between (monthly single sheet handouts with a Scripture to look at and a few questions to discuss).

Another letter was sent out to the women of the church to see if there were any new women who desired to be mentored.  Any new mentees coming into the mentoring ministry were asked to go through Growing Together with their mentor for the first year.  This will likely be our standard protocol.

7. End of Year Celebration/Kick-Off for New Year

This became a combo event of welcoming new pairs into the ministry and celebrating the end of the first year for the existing pairs.  Many of our mentor/mentee matches continued into a second year.  However, we did tell them that even though some of them would like to stay with their mentors forever, there would be a two year limit for matches.  We wanted them to be aware of this as they started their second year and understand that we valued the importance of learning from and growing with other women in the church as well.  

This event was similar to the first in that it included food (we did soup, salad, and a hot chocolate bar), games, worship, teaching, and business for new pairs as well as for the second year pairs.  We also included a time of blessing and thankfulness for the year in mentoring. 

Prior to our meeting, I asked each mentee to come prepared to share with her mentor what the year meant to her, how she grew, and whatever was on her heart.  Several of these women then also shared in the large group.  It was a great time of being thankful to the Lord for how He had worked through these relationships.  This was my favorite part of the evening!  We concluded with another pairs’ activity, both for fun for the existing pairs and as a get-to-know-you for the new matches.   

8.  Year Two for the Matches

Based on the questionnaire, there was a mix of responses between “just meet without any set material” and a “one page handout.”  I opted for the one page handout.  I felt it was so important to keep the focus on the Word of God and provide some direction for discussion.  So on most months, I wrote up a page with Scripture to read and questions to answer together.  It worked well based on feedback.  

So where from here?  We just wrapped up year two of our women’s mentoring ministry and will be taking a 6-9 month break as I pray about what direction to take as we proceed.  I do know I want to give the mentors a break (truly in the hope that when I hit them up again in the future that they will say yes once again!).  But several women have told me that they still stay in touch with their mentor/mentee and are thankful for that time they spent growing together.  

There are several books I read or listened to in preparation for this ministry.  Each burned something in my heart and helped cast the vision for this avenue of women’s ministry.  

Fill out the form below to receive the initial letter inviting those who would like to be mentored, a cheat sheet for your kick-off event, and the follow-up letter gauging interest for year two.